Why is Barack Obama allowed to hold the American people hostage for hours on national TV with his “shuck and jive” and “childlike expressions act” when there are others equally qualified to disgust to the average TV viewer?
I for one find Paris Hilton more believable, while Barack is totally in the dark Paris is quite fair on domestic and foreign affairs.
Many viewer think Paris should be given equal time to present her policy for combating thong chaff, also, many similar gifted “super stars” would love to know her formula for blowing bubbles in bath water.
All in all Paris and Barack have much in common, except, Barack wouldn’t look good in a bikini and Paris though explosive, is unlikely to destroy our country
Monday, November 30, 2009
Our founding fathers created one of the most prosperous and generous nations on earth, unknowingly they also created two terrible act of injustice.
Beginning in 1619 our founding fathers condoned the use of African slaves.
Because of those 246 years of greed, inhumanity and lack of forethought those same founding fathers condemned future generations of Working Americans to a lifetime of financial slavery.
Beginning in 1619 our founding fathers condoned the use of African slaves.
Because of those 246 years of greed, inhumanity and lack of forethought those same founding fathers condemned future generations of Working Americans to a lifetime of financial slavery.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The story is fiction, the characters are real.
We were 4-wheeling up Montana Mountain North of Superior, Arizona heading for Stone Cabin on the other side of the mountain. We intended to stop there to have a quick lunch and sip on a little Jack and Coke before heading on up to Fortuna Peak.
Somewhere near the top of Montana Mountain Larry who is always in the lead stopped to light a cigarette, it was his first since starting on the narrow winding trail and he was puffing smoke like a diesel creeping up Fish Creek Hill.
Dusty, who loves speed, was admiring the rapidly rising numbers on his speedometer when he suddenly noticed that Larry had stopped, in a cloud of dust and smoke Dusty brought his big yellow machine to a dead stop just inches before rear ending old Larry.
Dusty was a little pissed at Larry because he had stopped on a sharp curve, but, got over it quickly when saw that a now very nervous Larry had dropped a freshly lit second cigarette on a pile of still steaming coyote crap.
Tom had stopped a half mile back to smell some flowers and was racing to catch up, he was running triple his normal speed of 6.1 mph, as he came flying around the curve there in the middle of the trail stood Dusty and Larry.
They could see Tom’s lips move to the tune of “oh shit” and see the terror in his eyes as he searched for the break peddle, he didn’t remember if it was under his left or right foot.
Tom was forced to make an instant decision either run over his two best friends or try to pass them on the outer side of the trail.
What was left of the trail around Larry and Dusty measured only about 39 inches, Tom’s Arctic Cat was just shy of four feet wide, you do the math, the difference between staying on the trail and being launched into wingless flight is about a minus eight inches.
Tom was able to stay mounted on his Arctic Cat for about 80 feet straight down the brushy slope before it slammed into two giant rocks shaped like a funnel, well, the 4-wheeler stopped real quick but Tom kept right on trucking, face first into the biggest meanest cholla cactus in Pinal County.
By the time Larry and Dusty got down to where Tom stood crucified on the cactus he was mumbling something that sounded like “you dumb bastards why’d you stop”.
It was a long trip to the hospital in Apache Junction and lucky for Larry and Dusty Toms face was so swelled he couldn’t see or talk.
The emergency room nurse told Larry and Dusty there was no need for them to stay and sent them home.
A very patient doctor removed all the cholla needles from Toms face and wrapped his entire head in bandages.
The next day Larry and Dusty were called to the hospital to identify the person they had brought in the day before.
The doctor asks the two if they could positively identify the person on the bed. Dusty was first to respond with, I can’t see his face so you’ll have to roll him over and pull down his pants, the doctor did as he was ask, Dusty says “nope that ain’t Tom”.
Larry was next, he insisted on a closer look and after an extremely close examination he agreed with Dusty, “that sure ain’t Tom.”
The confused doctor ask Larry and Dusty why would you guys want to look at his behind and why are you so sure it’s not Tom?
Dusty, “with a possum eat’n poop” look on his face tells the doctor that he’s heard that Tom has two assholes, and this guy only has one.
The stunned doctor shouts that’s impossible, why would you say such a stupid thing?
Dusty and Larry talk quietly between themselves for a moment and then gave this answer.
“Well, doctor every time the three of us go into Sky’s Bar for a super size hamburger the waitress always says, “here comes Tom with two assholes“, we ain‘t never saw his backside, but we figure the waitress is honest and knows what she’s talking about.”
Normally I wouldn’t tell stories about body parts or personal character, but these guys are very forgiving, have short memories and are soooo easy.
Somewhere near the top of Montana Mountain Larry who is always in the lead stopped to light a cigarette, it was his first since starting on the narrow winding trail and he was puffing smoke like a diesel creeping up Fish Creek Hill.
Dusty, who loves speed, was admiring the rapidly rising numbers on his speedometer when he suddenly noticed that Larry had stopped, in a cloud of dust and smoke Dusty brought his big yellow machine to a dead stop just inches before rear ending old Larry.
Dusty was a little pissed at Larry because he had stopped on a sharp curve, but, got over it quickly when saw that a now very nervous Larry had dropped a freshly lit second cigarette on a pile of still steaming coyote crap.
Tom had stopped a half mile back to smell some flowers and was racing to catch up, he was running triple his normal speed of 6.1 mph, as he came flying around the curve there in the middle of the trail stood Dusty and Larry.
They could see Tom’s lips move to the tune of “oh shit” and see the terror in his eyes as he searched for the break peddle, he didn’t remember if it was under his left or right foot.
Tom was forced to make an instant decision either run over his two best friends or try to pass them on the outer side of the trail.
What was left of the trail around Larry and Dusty measured only about 39 inches, Tom’s Arctic Cat was just shy of four feet wide, you do the math, the difference between staying on the trail and being launched into wingless flight is about a minus eight inches.
Tom was able to stay mounted on his Arctic Cat for about 80 feet straight down the brushy slope before it slammed into two giant rocks shaped like a funnel, well, the 4-wheeler stopped real quick but Tom kept right on trucking, face first into the biggest meanest cholla cactus in Pinal County.
By the time Larry and Dusty got down to where Tom stood crucified on the cactus he was mumbling something that sounded like “you dumb bastards why’d you stop”.
It was a long trip to the hospital in Apache Junction and lucky for Larry and Dusty Toms face was so swelled he couldn’t see or talk.
The emergency room nurse told Larry and Dusty there was no need for them to stay and sent them home.
A very patient doctor removed all the cholla needles from Toms face and wrapped his entire head in bandages.
The next day Larry and Dusty were called to the hospital to identify the person they had brought in the day before.
The doctor asks the two if they could positively identify the person on the bed. Dusty was first to respond with, I can’t see his face so you’ll have to roll him over and pull down his pants, the doctor did as he was ask, Dusty says “nope that ain’t Tom”.
Larry was next, he insisted on a closer look and after an extremely close examination he agreed with Dusty, “that sure ain’t Tom.”
The confused doctor ask Larry and Dusty why would you guys want to look at his behind and why are you so sure it’s not Tom?
Dusty, “with a possum eat’n poop” look on his face tells the doctor that he’s heard that Tom has two assholes, and this guy only has one.
The stunned doctor shouts that’s impossible, why would you say such a stupid thing?
Dusty and Larry talk quietly between themselves for a moment and then gave this answer.
“Well, doctor every time the three of us go into Sky’s Bar for a super size hamburger the waitress always says, “here comes Tom with two assholes“, we ain‘t never saw his backside, but we figure the waitress is honest and knows what she’s talking about.”
Normally I wouldn’t tell stories about body parts or personal character, but these guys are very forgiving, have short memories and are soooo easy.
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